Friday, November 22, 2013

Fly on the Wall November

This month's edition of Fly on the Wall.
Grab a beverage, it should probably be at least 10 proof to get through this, and take a peek into my life. Here are 30 second snippets of our everyday adventures. Enjoy and then go visit the other lovies' links at the bottom. No comparing, you can think I am a big ball of crazy but you don't have to come back with proof...

Someone started solids...

The pirate lost a tooth...

I got a makeover...
Yes I had no real make up or shower, get over it...
If you had any question on who did it, look toward that little photobomber. Well... At least he didn't leave his sister out (I guess)
He lipsticked her up real nice...

Someone caught the crabs...
 Here is how she took it when I showed her what she looked like throwing a fit...

This kid learned to tie his shoes.


Clearly I NEEDED that second pot...


This kid had her first dance, that her dad chaperoned, and I am STILL laughing...

my little hob-a-long

Little Cam ditty's costume. All the kids were Hulk Hogan (in 1986), but for 50 cents we will call that ish vintage chic...


Hulk up there was a little perturbed that I was working at the computer. He told me he was going to write a letter for me telling me how angry he was. 
He is right, those are some angry letters...

After a run in with a boy and the prom queen, aka hob-a-long, I tracked down his mom on Facebook. I tried to get her to go along with my elaborate scheme of making the kids think they were related, she declined and took all the fun out of parenting.

Hob-a-long had a run in with another girl at school which resulted in me chatting with the principal. I am pretty sure you can file "You handled this situation like a wet fart in white pants. You can tell everyone that you sat in chocolate, but we all know you crapped your pants." under what not to say to a high school principal. 

3, the baseball boy, finally had his EEG after his episodes starting in April and an ER visit after a seizure that we were just blown off for. Thanks a lot MoBap..It was a sleep deprived EEG, which meant I had to keep him up. The kid and I don't see eye to eye, and staying up was not the Yogi- Boo Boo experience I imagined. But we made it through and he fell asleep... Uptop- parenting high-five. During the test. a neurologist pulled me out to reschedule his appointment, which seemed odd, but I figured it was to get us out of their books and on our way because the kid didn't look like he was having any seizures. But then they called back and moved it closer again. I started to wonder and made an appointment with Dr. Google, BAD IDEA, he's quite the quack.  We saw the Nurse Practioner and got a diagnosis and some pills and we should be good. Just a form of epilepsy that we will outgrow. It has benign in the same so I am pretty sure its safe...(ish)

Hulk and I had a discussion about poop and it went a little like:
Him: It smells like shit in here. S-H-I-T. Real live shit. Who does that? How does that happen. Shit.
Me: while he is saying that, I am reminding him of all the appropriate ways to say shit.. poop, turds, pellets, leftovers, crap...
The kid gave me a look and said "It's shit, there IS a difference."
I guess he is right... Sometimes you walk in and say this smells like crap, and sometimes crap just won't cut it...

Little Carter rolled once. She seems to be an over-achiever still, as she took her whole bouncy seat with her. She wasn't sad or scared. She was pissed. She didn't cry, she yelled. Yes, I know what I am in for...

I sent the hubs an email subject line... A little summin summin for you... It had a picture of a clogged toilet ready for him to fix when he got home... dirty pics do keep him wondering (why he married me)...

That same man decided that we would have Thanksgiving at our house this year. The mother-in-law did the most horrific thing known to man... she told me what it entails to prep a turkey. And gasp, that people actually eat that shit. I am going to let her do that part, I know- that must be why I am her favorite...and that in culinary school it was highly frowned upon when I went at a chicken with a pair of oven mitts and kitchen tongs- because that is the only way I can get down and dirty with poutlry, I am pretty sure she appreciates that too.

Cam ditty told someone at the gas station that they could come to his house, a complete stranger- and people wonder why I don't teach him his address. But not to come in the morning. Or late at night. Or in the daytime, because his mom doesn't really like people...

That is about it... You can probably start sobering up and switch to coffee now and hit up these ladies..

 My girls : Baking In A Tornado     Sadder but Wiser   and  Meno Mama 
The always funny Just a Little Nutty  
The amazingly crafty  Stacy Sews and Schools      
 A girl after my own heart, because who doesn't love cute kids AND a tidy closet Moore Organized Mayhem    The great The Momisodes   Spatulas on Parade   and  The Rowdy Baker

And two peeps I am really excited to read for the first time: Mom's don't say that and Juicebox Confession and last but not least one of my faves who will be stopping by on Monday to hang on the blog

Enjoy!




















18 comments:

  1. Cupcake rolled over? Maybe she's trying to head over here to visit her Aunt Tornado.

    Love all the additions of pics but, honestly, there are few people out there in the blogosphere whose lives make me laugh the way yours does. Take that any way you want, but you know I ❤ you!

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  2. Lol. I was thinking about videotaping snippets of our daily life and making a video, I decided against that since I don't have a bleep or those pixelated blocks that block out brand names and bare asses readily available...

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  3. I think Hubby needs to take care of the turkey since he volunteered you to begin with. (Good luck with that.)
    I need more! I want to hear about the dance and why it was so funny.
    I'm curious about the run-in with the girl at school, though your daughter probably doesn't let you release too much personal info on social media sites.
    But mostly I guess I just don't want to put down the booze and switch to coffee ;-)

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    1. lol. He should take on the nasty.
      He had a "fight" which she was trying to walk away but the other girl didn't so she was suspended for three days.
      She wanted her father and I as far away from that dance as possible!

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  4. He's right, sometime things just smell like shit.
    Loved the hulk!
    The visual of you getting dirty with a chicken was too awesome.
    Love reading your Fly posts.

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  5. haha, wow, that is QUITE the makeover.

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    1. I know! He gives them for free,,, You know where to come before your next big event :)

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  6. I love this! Are you doing the whole Thanksgiving thing, then?? Brave woman! I don't like all that nasty shit inside the bird--gross. No, I don't want to make gravy out of the gizzards. Eeww. LOVE the family pics of smeared lipstick. You crack me up!

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    1. Thanks :) No way in hell I am making a mashed potato drizzle out of guts. Nope.

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  7. I love the pictures that you used with your Fly post. Great idea!

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  8. You are too funny; great makeover, though!

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  9. I cannot pick my favorite line from this post girl. Your family is awesome. I have to tell you, I've never heard of poop being called leftovers. Don't mind if I use it for the next twenty years, do ya? I also can't believe how big the kiddos are getting. Thank GOD they have your sense of humor. I must be off to write a dirty e-mail to my husband..the water on our toilet won't shut off. Ahh, romance :)

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    1. I know! Sometimes I wonder why he sticks around. It has to be the pics, crazy texts or the painting and redecorating of random rooms without any type of plan...

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  10. OMG I laughed entirely too much at this post. Your family is fantastic.....

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