Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A review: I Just Want to Pee Alone

Teri from Snarkfest sent me this book months ago. Months. It came in the mail, the one day I was home between hospital stays for a complicated pregnancy. I have actually written this several times and frankly my reviews just flat out blew. Trying to be funny when your life is in shambles makes you look like a fake asshole and I have entirely too much respect for the writers of this book to just throw something together like that.

I read this book for the first time cover to cover in less than 2 hours. I am not a reader. I would love to be. I pretend to be in front of my children, but in actuality I am writing pretend blog posts or think about which way I can take over the world. Sometimes, I write sermons in my head for our weekly family meeting- I really am taking this Minister Mom thing seriously. To get to the point, I pretty much suck at reading. So to read it in two hours, proves how easy of a read it is or how entertaining.

I almost got to sit alone because I refused to get up and take a break even for the bathroom and with a baby kicking your bladder, not getting up could've gotten ugly in a hot minute. The next morning I was re-admitted for almost six weeks. And if you think I got to pee alone, well... peeing in front of a grown-ass woman is much worse than your children and I definitely know how terrible peeing in front of children is. I have 6, and one time my older girls thought it would be funny to take a picture of me peeing and hit the button at the most unopportune time.

Anyway, for the next six weeks I was in a bad place. Being secluded from your friends and husband is hard, but from your children is life shattering. With limited shower privileges, stuck in a bed, in the middle of the ghetto it is a hard place to be. So I turned to this book. I couldn't tell you how many times I read it. Different days led me to different essays. I can honestly say that I Just Want to Pee Alone kept my head above water, not just for the weeks in the hospital but for the weeks of the NICU. Laughing at these ladies was about the only thing I had, even looking at my children I had at home broke my heart knowing I still had one to bring home.

This is an unintentional self-help book for mothers in all walks of life. It helps you realize the crazy shit that you think just happens to you, doesn't. It shows you using humor helps when life is using your sanity as it's personal target practice.

Meredith Spidel's account of her mother's death nearly made me shit my pants. It probably didn't help that they the feed you colace like candy in the hospital, but whatever. She took a horrible event and made it bearable with humor. And by bearable I mean wet face, wet pants, can't stand up because your abs are spasming funny. I had a wake to go to and the whole time I had to keep myself from cracking up thinking about her story.

Tracy of Momaical talks about her girls' language choices, that may make you blush right along with her. You may very well get a glimpse into the future with two of my faves Peanut Layne and Snarkfest.

Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures will help you let go of the should be's and just go with the flow. Or burn your birth plan in the hippy in the next birthing suite over's face. She would probably dance on it too, she is cool like that.

Tara from You Know It Happens At Your House Too, one of the nicest gals out there, nails pregnancy birth and new motherhood. It's with a humor hammer so don't be scared, or surprised because she pretty much rocks the shit out of anyting that comes from her keyboard. I have never walked away feeling disappointed.

You may learn a little something of how to deal with two vaginas from Susan at Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva. It's not what you think and the only way you are gonna find out is if you go read the book. Yes it is that good, as is Rach Riot's account of her child's misunderstanding of the female reproductive cycle.

Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat not only did a fantastic job of pulling these amazing writers together she wrote a hilarious piece too. I don't think she will ever understand the impact that her hard work has made on my life and the lives of every other mother just hanging on by a thread. She knows what a mom needs and grabs it by the balls and serves it up.

I recommend this book for all moms, except the language prudes. They may be too busy pulling their panties out of their cracks to appreciate the humor.

Even Carter likes it...


  1. This definitely sounds like a book all new mothers should get... I remember just wanting a it's tough :-)

  2. OMG!!! Carter is SO precious! LOVE HER!!!

  3. It's a great book--I bought it awhile ago and couldn't put it down. That picture of Carter--wow, what a beauty she is! Just like her mama!