Wednesday, July 10, 2013

My submission for mother of the year...

I rarely lose it with the kids. When I do 130% of the time it's over them not cleaning up after themselves.

Number 3. Oh number 3, he and I butt heads more than any of the kids combined. He is the perfect kid for everyone BUT me. He even kisses his dad's butt. He was told probably 15 times from 10 am on to put his baseball crap in the garage. He told me no at least 12 times. He would do every chore I gave him EXCEPT move that bag. The fight was on, my friends.

Finally at 4pm there was movement on the bag. He moved it from the front room to the laundry room, which is less than 2 steps from the garage. 2 whole steps, because 2 steps will clearly put you over the edge. 2 steps. 2. T to the WO. 2....

I lost it. I yelled. I cursed. I told him since he took his time to put the bag away, I was going to take my sweet  time taking him to his game tonight. I believe there was an I'm just so tired of this and possibly a mention of him living a life of crime and women hating happened. It was ridiculous. Tempers should not have been lost.

The building of the anger from the stupid crap of the day. The feeding the baby slushie, to the pee on the floor. It all came rushing back.

The next moment I stepped on a sandwich. It was really over. I yelled-that is it you guys can sit in your own squalor, I'm taking Carter and staying in a hotel tonight. 3 is crying, 5 is crying, 4 yelled I go with mom...

Then 5 poked me in the back and held up my phone. He answered it, it was a parent from the baseball team, he heard the whole thing. I'm the coach's wife. I made quite the impression. I bet he's not going to call for a play date or private coaching again.

It's just my luck, I lost it AND I had an audience. I'm sure he's already called my husband. Fabulous. Unlesss... He warns the husband and tells him to show up with a bottle of wine to pad my horrible day... Ha yeah we all know that won't happen...

So excuse me while I completely ignore the ridiculous mess, drown my day in a Diet Coke and a king size Caramello bar and try not to do such a craptastic job at this parenting gig again tomorrow....


  1. Hahaha. :) I think the king size Caramello bar would def. make me feel better. And, I'm sure the baby enjoyed the slushie. ;)

    1. The sad thing is that the kids had fed it to her while I thought she was tucked away sleeping. I didn't know until she spit up red and I flipped my lid yelling to call 911...and then they fessed.

  2. There isn't a parent alive who hasn't lost it at least once!

  3. How did I not know about you before and that god I just found you!

  4. Another day in kid hell. Gawd, I'm so glad mine are grown...well, except for the 17 yr. old who is still a pain in my ass. Just remember, one day you WILL look back on all of this and laugh...I promise.

  5. You know those gorilla-grams, where someone sends a guy dressed in a gorilla suit to your house with a bunch of balloons for your birthday? Well I'm sending you a wine-gram; a guy dressed up as... oh who cares what he's dressed up as, he'll have wine!

  6. I'm going to hell... I laughed. Sorry. Not at you, but with you. Ohmygosh... how we've all been there. And lost our shit... hell, exploded shit EVERYWHERE. We have to give ourselves permission to screw up sometimes. We're human. Honestly, I think it's healthy for our kids to see we're human—but to also see that we recognize when we screw up and can apologize for it. xo