Thursday, April 4, 2013

The saga continues...

It happened again. The last time they couldn't find a rhyme or reason to what was going on. This time there is a definitive answer...

I am on day 3 of my hospital stay. Believe it or not Sedimentary and Relax are not exactly part of my lifestyle. I'm going crazy in a hurry and I'm fairly certain this post will go to my old URL and may be lost forever... So if you can read this here are the events that unfolded...

Day 1: I had another bleed so I came into the hospital and later started having contractions, again they couldn't find the source of the bleed but put me on pills to stop contractions. The pills worked for 2 of the 4 hours that they were supposed to. I was scared but I figured it was early labor and pills and bedrest can handle it. Only one night away from the kids, I was upset but we can handle one day.

Day 2: Another bleed and the high risk docs got involved. They wanted to know the source of the bleed and took me off meds to stop contractions and started the steroid shots for the baby. I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut and if I could've taken a breath I would have without a doubt thrown up. The blood test to show baby's blood in mine which takes you one step closer to the placental abruption diagnosis came back negative, apparently its not 100%. The high risk doc did another ultrasound and found the abruption.. I was informed that if I bleed again I will be transferred to the hospital that is attached to The Children's hospital in the city incase I needed to deliver. I was told what a 26 week baby would look like and the types of complications it could have.

I have been afraid to breathe. The bleeding has stopped, for now. Since this is the second time in two weeks even with bedrest there is a chance it can happen again. One doc said maybe, another one said not if but when.

Day 3: I was told if I have no more bleeding then I can go home on restrictions tomorrow after the steroids are in full effect. I want to go home so badly but at the same time I know how fast this can go from manageable to mayhem in minutes.

I am still having constant contractions but stopping them could mask another bleed but at the same time having contractions can cause another abruption. Not knowing that there is another abruption could be life threatening to both the baby and I. So they will do nothing to actually stop labor, which in itself scares the absolute Hell out of me too. Apparently I have an iron cervix because it's not changing for anything.. THANK GOD... Even contractions two minutes apart double peaked isn't softening it to the idea a kid can come out of there.

I have some fun hospital stories and my take on contractions that I will post later. But for now I am just not feeling the funny. It kills me that I have missed #2's first outdoor softball practice, #4's first field trip that I have been looking forward to for the entire kindergarten year. Tonight I have to miss the little boys' karate. 3's soccer game and 1's first volleyball game of the season are more than likely out of the question too. It absolutely kills me to not put them to bed or nag at them to pick up their shit and to flush the toilet.

I am having a hard time keeping it together and not thinking about how bad it can go. I have no intentions on leaving a baby at the hospital and going home so an early delivery isn't something I'm wanting to pencil in. I will feel so much better when the second steroid shot is fully effective tomorrow, but think I am going to fully use my friends and family willing to help after I get home and hire a cleaning lady.

*I would rather spend a thousand dollars I don't have than force a lifetime of hardship upon this baby*

I am so thankful to my friends and family who have without a second thought who have dropped everything or were willing to for me and this baby. It is a great feeling knowing that the kids at home are in good hands.

And the hubs who is knee deep in tax returns,10 days til D-Day needing to work 70 hours a week, but still visits several times a day and brings the kids up to visit, only to work in the middle of the night. He has not bitched, moaned, complained or tried sneaking me out the back. He acts like me being in here for days on end is no big deal and he has it covered. I know is hard on him but I have never had so much respect and appreciation for him in my life. (He doesn't read my shit nor wants me to write about him, but since it's good we will make an exception.Behind his back.shhh)

I am not really a believer in permanent sterilization but after all this worry I'm highly considering it. I really wanted a playmate for this feisty little gal but that may not be in the cards. Maybe before North Korea goes all Gangnum Style on America we should send over a plane and buy up all the babies in their orphanages. I could bunk the kids up and take a couple...

18 comments:

  1. hope all is right soon. got nothing else. oppa'n gangnam style.

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  2. Oh my! I'm so sorry you have to go thru all of this. I'm sure it is very, very scary! My prayers are with you and your family and of course the little one you are carrying with all you have.
    xoxo
    -Ellen

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  3. You are strong and positive and I just pray you and your baby will be just fine and you'll be torturing her with this story on her birthday every year for many years to come.

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    1. I really do think that recording of the lady next door coughing up her colon would suffice, maybe the laminated book of contractions would help... It's a good thing she is mine, that little gal is feisty

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  4. Hang in there. Wishing you peace and strength to get through this.

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  5. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  6. I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this. I'm crossing my fingers and everything else I have for you (My husband will be sad, but you're important!) Prayers, Good thoughts, Light. I'm doing/sending it all.

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    1. Haha! Baby C appreciates your abstinence. Thanks SB you're awesome

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  7. Stay positive, stay positive, stay positive! And definitely let your friends help you. You know you'd do the same for one of them. Thinking about you.

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    1. Thanks Dyanne :) yes I am an over helper and my friends know how to treat a gal. I am lucky to have them

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  8. Oh Ashley. My mom heart is aching for you. My over-worrying OCD mind is spinning for you. Again, I wish I lived closer, but definitely take people up on their offers of help. This little girl is part of your family, therefor she is a spit fire for sure, and so strong already. Prayers and hugs for you and for your kiddos.

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    1. Thanks! I really appreciate all the support. Watch this kid give me so much trouble and be overdue by two weeks and 14 pounds... That would be a funny blog post and ammunition for blackmail for quite some time :)

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  9. I had no idea you were going through all this!
    I am so sorry.
    I hear you saying you are missing being home, and being a present parent to the kids there....but honey, you are in the safest place right now...for YOU and that baby.
    A 26 weeker is nothing play with if it can be avoided.
    Call on whoever offers to help. Take it with pride knowing that you are protecting the one that needs the most care right now and that's the one still inside and depending on you to do whatever you have to in order for her to stay there for as long as possible.
    I will be praying for you and her....

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  10. Ashley, that is so scary. Even when things go smoothly in a pregnancy, it's scary. You must be a pretty tough broad. I like that about you. The restrictions and bed rest would totally make me crazier. Can't sit still either. ;-)

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