Friday, April 5, 2013

Stop the Stupid: Really, Target?

I am stuck in bed with nothing to do other than count contractions and wait for my walking orders. Over the last few days I have heard continuously about this Manatee Gray taboo garbage.

I am shaking my head wondering why someone would get offended over Manatee Gray. I'm not a big lady but if someone would call a larger lady a Manatee more than likely they are in Kindergarten and your can send them to the principal. I have never associated fat with a manatee, I've heard whale, never manatee.

Target is in the works to make this right. I don't think they should. Grow a pair Targay and stand up for yourself, unless your employee who named it was a complete a-hole and this is change is being taken from a severance package, then carry on. No one likes an asshole. The thing is someone else will get their panties in a wad because Heather Gray sounds like Heifer Gray.

Calm down people either have a donut or a treadmill. Look around half of America is obese and probably another quarter is over weight, that is quite an army you can form against the skinny folk. On top of that most women see their buns, thighs and belly much larger than it is anyway so they feel they are one of you anyway.

Look at it this way the only people who actually care are cardiologists and people who can make a buck off your extra poundage. I'm not saying you should let yourself go and have to use a crane to get you off the crapper. Chances are if you are out at Target buying a dress that doesn't apply to you.

I want to let you in on a secret, most skinny people could give a care less if you are a size 2 or 22. We just ask that society as a whole to wear fitting clothing. It is just as offensive for me to see someone's skinny cheeks hanging out of their pants as it is to see a bigger persons do the same. Actually, I find it funnier to see a skinny person's underwears because it usually involves some sort of cheek floss. I can't trust a lady who will use a dental mechanism to hold her lady bits together. Add rhinestoned decor holding the floss together and I am laughing so hard and trying to hold it together before a game of ring toss breaks out with the fake diamond heart.

Now that you see why I prefer some responsible panties, lets talk about the sisters. I don't care who ya are I don't want to see nip, strap or cup. Keep it clean folks, the world is crawling with children.

Let's put the whole nude legging thing out there too. Leggings are not pants, regardless of color. Leggings are not the new yoga pants. Yoga pants are acceptable year round at nearly every grocery, school and big box store. Leggings are the equivalent to wearing pantyhose without the skirt. They will make the skinniest people look like they have sausaged themselves into a contraption they can only be cut out of. I am not the smallest and I'm not largest but I won't dare wear leggings, not even under a bulky sweater. I have a fear the sweater will unravel and we could have a situation neither of us want in our laps. I will be embarrassed, your retinas may shrivel so we just won't go there.

Short shorts, super skinny jeans, short skirts, they make me cringe. No matter size shape or gender here is my PSA: Cotton is picked for a reason, cover your bleep no matter the season.

11 comments:

  1. I am laughing so hard at that last line: "Cotton is picked for a reason, cover your ass no matter the season". I have to say I was watching the news last night and couldn't help but think wow society as a whole has become a bunch of cry babies. People are too easily offended and it seems all it takes are 2 people to complain and next thing you know it's the opening story on the news. I have never ever heard anyone refer to someone overweight as a manatee.

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  2. LOVE your parting line. We need to have that made into signs. I can see it now, on every residential street 2 signs:
    Keep Kids Alive, Drive 25
    and
    Cotton is picked for a reason, cover your ass no matter the season.

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  3. I completely agree with you on all of this. A.) Stop being so easily offended...believe it or not everyone, sometimes this isn't about you looking like a manatee! When did this society become so overly sensitive and self-involved? Also, B.) PLEASE YES to the buying of clothes that actually fit. Just bite the bullet and go up or down a size folks!

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  4. I always thought manatees were adorable. Your last line was the best and definitely needed at our high schools. I still haven't figured out the whole legging thing..Why would you camel-toe it anywhere? That can't even be comfortable!
    I hope you are feeling better. When you and that little one are all well and good, I'm going to be contacting you on writing pamphlets for teens. You pick the topic (s). Your words are gold.

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  5. I just woke up my napping toddler from laughing so hard! Excellent post! There needs to be more people like you in the world...tell it like it is sister!

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  6. When I was a concierge, I had a group of business women I absolutely loved who came in once a month to drink wine and eat wings in the lounge. These were successful, classy ladies, and smart as hell.

    They'd go on rants like this. Brilliant.freaking.rants.

    I'd keep the lounge open 24/7 for a little of your stuff. Classic.

    Screw a manatee.

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  7. When I was a concierge, I had a group of business women I absolutely loved who came in once a month to drink wine and eat wings in the lounge. These were successful, classy ladies, and smart as hell.

    They'd go on rants like this. Brilliant.freaking.rants.

    I'd keep the lounge open 24/7 for a little of your stuff. Classic.

    Screw a manatee.

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  8. Why couldn't they just say "So Much Slimmer Than A Manatee Grey"?

    Problem.solved.

    Can't help you with the leggings, but yoga pants in the grocery store are Jesus' gift to me from heaven.

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  9. LOL...
    I don't think this would even be an issue if ALL the sizes were called that but it wasn't.
    They made the regular sizes "heather gray" and the Plus sizes "mantee gray" even though ...if what I heard was correct if you hold a size 2 up to a size 4x the actual color is identical.
    THAT is kind of insulting.
    Why not just have ALL the sizes called the same thing? It's the same color...

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