Tuesday, March 26, 2013

#6 is "The New Situation"

Well it seems like we have a little situation on our hands. The little gal's home is acting a fool. And I am on bedrest. Here is the scoop...
( this may be on the line of TMI- proceed at your own risk)

A few weeks ago I went to the doc and I told her how damn itchy I was. To the point that I was scratching so hard I had bruises. So she ordered some bloodwork. It came out a little wonky. So I worried and stressed and it turned out to be fine. Thank freaking god. I found out on Friday it was all good laughed at the amount of worry I had and promised myself I wouldn't pull that kind of overreaction bullshit again.

Well Monday reared her ugly bitch-ass. Everything was great until it wasn't. I was sitting eating lunch and all of a sudden I felt like I was pissing myself. I sat there seriously about to kick my own ass because I JUST put the last load of regular clothes in the wash and now there will be pissy pants sitting in the laundry room ranking up my house for the next 20 hours. Not to mention the fact that I am not 3, 93, or Kris Jenner so that just can't happen. I don't care who you are that kind of shit will never be cool. I was silently making fun of myself and debating whether to blog about it or not until I realized it wasn't urine.

It was blood. I sat there staring unable to move, replaying every horrible thing that I read in the "What to Expect" books from my first pregnancy about 15 years ago with vague memories just horrified. I picked myself up and went to the hospital and got checked out. It was determined that the bleed in fact came from the uterus and wasn't a raging bleeding hemroid or a nasty case of infected crotch rot. It seemed to stop while I was there so they sent me home and told me to call and get an ultrasound today and do the whole bedrest crap.

So I am sitting here freaking the hell out. I didn't sleep last night because I was afraid I would miss a clue and something horrible would happen to the new kid on the block. I have had early contractions but I knew that if they got out of hand there is medicine for that. This, this is different. This is a potential placenta problem. In the house doc's words it's not like they can shove a giant tampon up there and stop it.

I am 25 weeks and it feels like my insides are tearing. I have no clue if this is a case of nothing or something unimaginable. I can't bring myself to even look at a baby website or a web md. As far as I am concered Dr. Google can go overdose on a Trojan virus. I want to have the stupidity and ignorance that there is nothing wrong and this bedrest will be more of a few day vacation than a several month long stress fest. I am just going to smile every time my little gymnast kicks and pretend I'm not keeping time or trying to evaluate every move she makes.

I am going to take the opportunity and use my little stint of laying around to troll some blogs, so watch out folks Mama bear and Baby C are gonna hold some unicorns hostage and catch some rainbows on fire... Just kidding I don't waste my time with that bullshit. I like myself some real bitches and some profanity that will make a sailor blush. My copy of I Just Want To Pee Alone is on its way to my porch and I can't freaking wait!!? I need it about now.

Baby C is kickin in there, they can't find where thw bleed occurred and as of now there is no active bleed... WHEW! It looks like the new kid on the block is a prankster and likes to scare the shit out of me for no reason. That's ok, she needs to get it all out before the teen years get here...


  1. Wow, what a scare. Can't imagine how you felt when you realized it was blood. I'm so glad you're OK now.
    And I couldn't help laughing at the "get it all out before the teen years". Sorry, I lost my older son's twin in utero and with my younger son I woke up in a pool of blood and ended up on bedrest and NEITHER are taking it easy on me during their teen years.

  2. So glad you and baby are ok. Being pg can be so stressful, but you're more than halfway there, hang in there.

  3. Holy crap that's scary. Yeah that's probably not what you need to hear. You already knew that. Thank god for modern medicine, you know? I'm so glad you can get peace of mind, at least a little bit. I always wondered what bedrest was like. What do you DO all day? Doesn't your but and back start to hurt?

  4. So glad all is good! I can't imagine how scary that would be. Here is hoping the rest of the pregnancy as no more surprises

  5. Scary! But you're not alone. I have a friend who lost LITERS of blood and was on hospital bedrest... We just attended that baby's first birthday party this weekend. Years from now, you'll probably look back and think nothing more than, "God, that was BORING!" I recommend Netflix when you run out of blogs. "Mad Men" and "The Walking Dead," in particular.

  6. My words of wisdom would be Don't Borrow Trouble. I'm disgustingly, annoyingly optimistic and I am sending some of it to you through the blogosphere.

  7. Glad you are okay. And you're right to stay away from Google and WebMD.....they can make you crazy with worry for nothing! Relax and enjoy the down time! I'm reading I just want to Pee Alone now, and you'll love it!

  8. Hope you're still on the right track. Usually, only good luck is bestowed on those who become among my favorites.

    I think the girl is getting a head start on the teen years. She's going to be a 13-year-old tempest straight out of utero.

    Probably gets it from her mama!

    Thinking good things for you over here.

  9. Whew! I hope all is well! Have you read the Crappy Pictures book? It's hilarious!

  10. I'm sorry you had to go through that, girl. Let's think about this bed-rest thing for a moment. Make someone buy you some Diet Coke. I know you won't touch the Girl Scout cookies, but if you HAVE to, you could eat some for me. Stay off of WEB MD; that stuff will scare the crap out of you. You'll not only worry about you and the baby, you'll worry for the kids you already have.
    I'd totally tell you to come read my rainbows/unicorn posts, but I'm to lazy to blog.
    I'm seriously sending you love. Get some rest.

  11. So glad you are both ok. Tell that little shit to settle down in there. Shit... this is all you need, right? I'll drink for you tonight.

  12. So glad you are both ok! Tell that little shit to settle down in there. I'm all ready to throw some kids out the window around here so you let me know if I need to come over and start doing it to yours too.

  13. I'm so sorry you went through that, but glad that everything's fine!! Pregnancy is so rough, just b/c there are so many times we have to sit and wait, and that can be so hard. Prayers your way! (P.S.--I'm not a blogtalker, I promise; I found you on Kim's blog at One Classy Motha :) )