I rejoined Karen's secret subject swap again. My subject is If you could wipe a memory from a loved one's mind what would it be. So I know what Miss Josie is trying to do here, I wasn't born yesterday. She wants me to divulge some embarassing/horrific story about my past or wants me to make her cry with a sad sad story. Although I have the ability to make people cry, I generally reserve that right for my children. Let's face it when they act like assholes hearing them cry because they are sorry is music to your ears- don't lie you smirk over the win too.
Since I like to keep things light and fun around here and I want you to have the opportunity to look in on a vacation you never want to be on, and still be at least slightly entertained. I am going to spin it. The theme is:
Some things are better left unseen... ( I am pretty sure we can just leave this to#4)
Let's take for example, the other day when I watched him brush his teeth. The kid beats to his own drum, even on mundane normal tasks. Now, since I would like to unsee this , I am just going to share with you and we can unsee this together.
The kid at his ripe age of 6, fills the sink with water. Leaving me intrigued, I watch the kid around the corner. He picks up a toothbrush and looks at it for a minute and shrugs his shoulders, telling me this toothbrush may not be his. 4 then dips his toothbrush into the filled sink and puts toothpaste onto the sink, the actual sink counter. He then uses his toothbrush to "scoop up" said toothpaste. He sees the counter has residue of his toothpaste endeavour, so he jumps onto the counter and licks it off... He licked the toothpaste off the counter. I am attempting to decide if this is funny or a sanitary issue, where he could get sick. I figure the bathrooms are cleaned damn near everyday so he is probably fine, and the fact that toothpaste has something to do with killing germs, I step back and watch the events unfold. The boy continues to brush his teeth and spits into the full sink. Gross, but wait for it. He sticks his face into the toothpaste-spit filled sink and slurps up the water to rinse his mouth with. OMG, and spits it back into the sink. This is gross enough as it is, but this kid NEVER does anything half-assed.
He decides one brushing just isn't going to cut it, so he dips his toothbrush back into the nasty toothpaste-spit sink and then instead of squeezing the toothpaste onto the sink, he sees that there is toothpaste on the side of the tube. I shook my head in shame when I saw him inspecting the tube, I knew what was about to happen would a) make me puke, b) re-think my stance on child abuse or c) emergency Wal-Mart run. The kid took the toothbrush and used it to get the paste off the rim of the tube, Oh dear, but that is not all... he then attempts to lick the rest off the tube... HE LICKED THE WHOLE DAMN TUBE. I now know the next home reno. project will be to install a safe in my bathroom so I can keep my toothpaste and toothbrush safe. He then dips the toothbrush into the spitty toothpaste sink and keeps on going about his business, with the unidentified toothbrush. Spits, slurps, the whole drill. I am nauseous just thinking about it. When he is done, he decides the toothpaste tube is not up to his "cleanliness standards" and puts the toothpaste into the double toothpaste-spit/ gingivital water and tries to clean the rest of the caked up toothpaste off the rim. There are so many words to describe this incident. Shock, awe, disgust but I bet we can all agree we can file this one under : Some things are better left unseen.
Here are more swap participants:
The Sadder But Wiser Girl Suburbia Interrupted Stacy Sews and Schools Go MaMa Snakfest
Baking In A Tornado The Mommy Ref Come Play in the Kitchen MacDonald's Playland
The Family Pants Adventures in Hickey Land Dawn's Disaster Black SheepMom