Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When I make a promise...

Yesterday the kids were off school. Normally I love it when all the kids are home, but not in the dead of winter. They have so much energy it is unbearable. Don't get me wrong, they play ball in the house and jump on the couch and I am fine with that. Hell, half of our basement is a batting cage and the rest is set up for rollerblading and a hockey game. I even have old couch cushions stacked under the stairs so they can pull them out and have an indoor trampoline. I understand the need to release energy and they have many opportunities to do so. Yesterday they didn't choose to do those activities.

The girls were fighting over the cleanliness of their room and who was the last one to clean their bathroom. Then they were fighting over IF the baby was a girl who she would share a room with. It then escalated into accusing each other of choosing bad friends and then 2 told me that 1 was talking to boys on Facebook and that she sneaks out at night. Blah Blah Blah. It was pissing me off. It took everything to keep my Shut the fuck up inside.

The boys were running through the house and mooning each other. Boys are gross. It got to the point to which they were throwing toys at each other's bare asses and just being downright ignorant. I was done. I yelled, and no one listened they just kept on. That was the wrong thing to do..

I yelled you act like shit you clean shit...I started doling out chores left and right. They still were yelling from room to room at each other. WTF. So I promised them that this was going to be the most boring day of their  lives. They all had to be with me doing chores. They helped me clean out my closet, all the socks got  matched all the clean laundry folded. We all together cleaned the family room and the living room. I was rocking this parenthood shit.

We made lunch together, well I told them what to do and I watched. They weren't allowed to talk to each other because they proved earlier that they couldn't say anything nice so they couldn't say anything at all. We all ate lunch and I started giving out chores. I pulled the trash bag out and told 2 to take out the trash. She set the bag on her foot and then threw it off and ran to the bathroom. Again Wtf?  Apparently she cut her toe. She is a bleeder so it took a little while to be able to see how deep it was and to pick the bloody toilet paper out of it. Why the child reached for toilet paper...anyway. Yep, stitches. After sitting in the Urgent Care for hours, realizing she absolutely has no business picking out her own clothes, she walked out with 4 stitches. We then had to go to the Visiting Nurses to get her tetanus booster because apparently when she was a kid I took her ON her birthday for her shots.  I was such a mean mom back then. So that meant she needed her booster 2 days ago, on her actual birthday. Seriously, we are in an unlucky injurious stage right now. When I make a promise for the most boring day in their lives, I better be able to follow through... no more promises.

24 comments:

  1. Jeez, never a dull moment at your house. I know what it's like to have 2 not get along, I can't imagine 5. Hope there's no more days off from school in their near future.

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  2. Winter bites. My kids don't really like to play in the snow so they don't do it much. Instead they stay inside and drive me flippin insane. I love your ideas for your basement, they could definitely be useful around here!

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    1. Ok... This is only the 3rd time I have attempted to respond.

      The basement is really the only way to go. Especially if there are a lot of kids or they have friends over. Who knows, you may accidentally lean up against the door and hit the lock..

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  3. Did you ever, as your forced them to follow you through the most boring day ever, get really depressed that it was you actual day?

    And what was in that garbage bag? (found your blog kinda randomly..glad I did. I know a soul sister when I see her.)

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    1. My favorite broken coffee mug. Ironically it was her sister that she wouldn't stop fighting with who knocked it off the table

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  4. You definitely are rocking this parenthood shit! Sorry about your daughter's toe. That sucks. I loved the idea of you herding your kids around doing chores though. The boys were throwing toys at each other's bare asses?!?! Hahaha!! I know it's gross and wasn't funny at the time (but it totally reads funny tho). I've got two boys. I know I'll be laughing on the other side of my face one day;)

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    1. Hopefully you never have to yell the things I do. I should start writing them down and write a book on things I never thought I would have to say. That day was bare asses are not targets..

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  5. Impressed with all the work you were getting done with your little minions... damn about the toe, though...

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    1. Thanks...it helps when there is a whole fleet of them obeying so the next day wouldn't suck too

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  6. I'm so thankful for your blog! I learn how to handle this whole parenting Shit like a boss! Sorry about the toe.

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    1. Haha! I love you April, don't be fooled 9 times out of 10 I still don't have a clue what I am doing...it's kinda fun that way

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  7. You definitely rocked the parenthood shit - it sounds like one of those days! I', suprised you kept your shit together so well! xx

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    1. Haha....it's not about keeping it together, it's about making the short ones believe you have it together :)

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  8. This is amazing and i am totally going to use this punishment tomorrow. I would say "if i need it" but i already know i WILL need it.

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    1. There is really something rewarding about when they are bad and you sit there and watch them do everything you usually do... I mean they half ass it but they hate being "the maid"

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  9. You better write that book. I will be first in line to buy the audio version, put it on full volume and scare the hell out of my kids. Once again, you've given me a Christmas idea. You rock and I miss seeing your face on Twitter. It's probably because I'm not on Twitter to see anyone's face, but that's neither here nor there...
    Hop you are well :)

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    1. I haven't been on Twitter that much either, once you get on it's kind of hard to stop..

      If I would write a book I would have to write some kind of warning label...people would want to drink heavily while reading :)

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    2. How did I miss this post? I'm laughing my ass off! I wish we were neighbors. Then we wouldn't have to worry when we hear horrendous noise next door. I'd be like, "Oh it's just one of Ashley's kids using Clorox wipes on his ass again" and when you hear screams from my house you'd be like, "Oh her husband probably saw a spider". Yeah, we need to be neighbors! Sorry to hear about the cut toe but I love that you gave your kids chores. You rock!

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    3. You know I would Jump at the chance to live next door to you. I could kil all the spiders, but I wouldn't because I need a laugh and excitement here and there. And hearing a grown man scream would work :)

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  10. OMG if we weren't Tweeting one another during the time I was reading this, my response would be so much better. Funnier, more coherent, just...well, more.

    With that said, holy hell. I let my one kid take all of the pillows off the couch, jump on whatever he wants and thank the Weather Gods when he's back in school.

    You are hilarious and awesome! I think my favorite line might be "I yelled you act like shit you clean shit."

    Because Friend, that is AWESOME. <3

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  11. The only time I wish I had kids is when I have tons of stuff that needs to be cleaned up :)

    Great post.

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