Most kids call 911 or China. Not my kid. He calls his school and an infomercial.
4 brought home a "green day" from kindergarten, which is good and extremely surprising. When he brought it home I was almost wondering if she gave it to him to show what would happen IF he could be good. Nope. He was good, he probably had a fever, that is the only time that kid isn't rocking out some sort of
My kid wasn't very fond of the green day so he took my phone and called his school. He matched the letters on his folder to the letters on my phone. Clever. Except how he used that knowledge. He called someone and said " Yeah I got a green day, AND I DON'T GIVE A CRAP. I looked at the number, of course it was the school. I am fairly certain they have caller ID. Which is truly thrilling. I have 3 kids that go to that school and it would be pretty easy to know which one did it. They didn't call back, maybe they didn't catch the number? Hopefully he went to voice mail or was put on hold. I can dream right?
Yesterday I hear 4 talking to someone, but I didn't hear a response. Oh shit! This is bad. Are the fng cops are going to be busting in my door any minute? God only knows what that kid is saying. So I listen...
"If someone brought that to my college I would kick their ass. I am 6 and I know that is DUMB. Why don't you stop selling this crap and get a real job?"
I stood there trying to figure out the plan of action and asked who he was talking to. He looked at the TV and hung up really quick. My kid called an infomercial and lied to them. He would totally kick someone's ass for bringing a snuggleuppet or a light up pillow, whatever it was, to college- that isn't a lie. He would form a committee for that. He is not 6 he is 5. Although he has been saying he was 6 since he was 2 and truly believed he was 6.
I would like to say I am shocked at what he did. I am not. No matter how hard I try I can't get a filter on that kid. If they sold them on ebay I would pay top dollar. Other than duct tape there is nothing. Since I can't condone duct taping a kid I guess I just better brace myself for the next few years...