So I really debated writing this, I mean it makes me sound crazy. So here are a few things you need to know...
1) When I get flustered or upset or excited I talk with my hands.
2) I don't believe in child abuse.
You get that? Ok, we can carry on.
The other night I was making dinner, peeling potatoes. The kids were in the kitchen wrestling. 4 was just in his underwear, I could say as usual but most of the time he is butt-ass naked, so I'm not going to lie.
4 was sitting on 5 with his butt in 5's face. All of a sudden he said "I'm gonna fart in your face", I mean it's gross but they are both boys and do that kind of shit on a daily basis. I couldn't tell you how many times I have said don't fart in your brother's face. I mean seriously, its ridiculous.
So 4's ass was in 5's face and his intention was to fart. The look on his face told me otherwise. 4 stood up and his underwear had a patch of brown that was spreading upward and outward. I was shocked, I don't loose my shit very often but I yelled and I used hand movements. " Seriously, seriously... you damn near shit in your brother's face, get the hell out of here". 4 runs upstairs balling his eyes out. I finish peeling the potatoes and I go upstairs to make sure he cleaned himself up and was ok.
I walked in and he wanted to see my hands. I had no idea why, but I had nothing in my hands. He said ok, you can come in. I asked him if he was embarrassed or something. He said "no, you had a knife in your hand and you were waving it around like a crazy person."
So we had to have a conversation.
Me: 4, you know that I love you. But really how many times have you been spanked in your life? Very rarely. When you do something that is life threatening.
4: No, remember that time you spanked me twice in one day?
Me: yes, that was after your 3 day bitch stint, and you were clearly warned and old enough to know better
and you didn't even cry.
4: ok, so you weren't waving that knife at me?
Me: Hell NO, if anyone would've gotten shanked it would have been my own face.
4: mom, you aren't supposed to put knives near your face.
4: that could've gotten you killed.
Me: Thanks, I will be sure to remember that the next time I am peeling potatoes and you shit in your
FYI: The bitch stint was a several day period that this 5 year old decided to put the word bitch after everything... I'm tired, BITCH... I'm hungry...BITCH, I wiped my butt... BITCH. I warned him for 3 days that I was going to spank him when he said bitch, it took two small pops to learn his lesson. I am sorry if you don't agree, but know that I am a yeller or sarcastic I am not a spanker, and that I have nerves of steel so it takes a lot to even get me to the yelling point...