I am doing the secret subject blog swap. The brain child of Baking in a Tornado.
Superpowers, they are tricky little bitches. Im not sure so let's think this out in bullet point form.
Super sonic hearing. That could be good. But I do go out of my way not to hear things. You know when a kid says oh mom is going to be so mad, some things are just better left unknown.
X-ray vision. Again could work. It would save many trips to the ER. But that also means I can see people's unders. Skid marked, blow hole underwear. Possibly some skimpies on a Mac truck sized hind end. Or even worse, the lacking of drawers. Even though it would save in ER visits my therapy couldn't outweigh the reward.
Mind reading. Could be good with the kids. But that's too easy. I like a good challenge, unless it's balding- I don't want that. I enjoy a good mystery. Watching the kids eyes look away or think they got away with something. I enjoy the cat and mouse of it. It's an under appreciated joy of parenthood.
Knowing the future. This is also good in theory but if I knew something bad was going to happen to someone I couldn't look them in the face. Unless they are an asshole. Then I would have a little laugh and probably tell them to watch their step. Knowing how your kids are going to turn out or how a situation in your life will end up. I'm not sure I want to know. I like the unknown, I thrive on the unknown unless it's really bad, and in that case an unpleasant surprise at the last moment may be better.
Flying. I have always wanted to fly. Although, I have never stepped foot on a plane. I wonder if birds could crap on you while you are flying? Can they crap on moving objects? Oh wait, one let a load off on my windshield going 60. I'm not a fan of aviary droppings so I won't go with that.
Invisibility. It would be cool, I am a people watcher. Then again, there are somethings I may be better off not knowing. The world is full of freaks and I like to think the peeps around here are not. I'm sure that is not the case. Seeing would just cause mass castration or extreme bitch-slapping. I may need bail money. Maybe we shouldn't go with that one.
Running at the speed of light. That would take care of the aviary shit-turds, and I could travel anywhere in a matter of seconds or minutes. Actually I'm not sure how fast the speed of light is, it may not be that impressive. But not being raped by gas prices would be an added bonus.
I wouldn't want to be the type of superhero to save people. I do enough of that in real life. Need a ride? Me. Need a babysitter? Me again. Need gas money? Oh oh me too. Need a hand with your work? Oh yeah, who is the dumbass who raises her hand. Me. Yeah, I'm done with all that shit.
I will go with the speed, maybe that list of six thousand things not finished at the end of the day can be 5,999? One can dream, right?
Thank you to The Insomniac's Dream for giving me this prompt. I had to dig around a little and put some work in this. Thanks for the challenge. Karen, at baking in a tornado, you are the mastermind of this genius operation. Thank you for allowing my crazy ass in.