Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I made a deal with the teenager

I made a deal with the devil. Well, close enough. My teen daughter. She wanted to dye the tips of her hair purple. She bought a semi-permanent dye and I told her I would think about it.

She home schools, the only one of the 5. There is a reason, and I can't seem to bring myself to share it, several months later I am so damn mad it would be a string of curse words with punctuation. She has been having a hard time in science. I get it, I teach it to her. It is boring and stupid. I feel her pain since I put together study guides and visuals to help her. Stabbing my eyes out seems like the only viable option. I get it.

She also recently had a small procedure on her toe. It was an ingrown toenail, she acts as though half her toe was sawed off. No that is not enough, chewed off my rats with a radioactive disease. She limps around and props it, unless she wants to do something and she looks like she is on hidden camera footage of a  personal injury fraud case. She is supposed to be using bandaids now but she says since it is still swollen (which is only visible to her eyes) she needs gauze. She has been milking the hell out of it.

So here is where it all comes together. I make a deal with her since we are out of gauze. "if you get an A on your science test and use a maxi-pad on your toe so I don't have to go get gauze I will dye your tips". She studied for an hour and a half. Damn it!

I don't know why I said this. I am either the dumbest mom in America, maybe the coolest? It could be me just taking the easy way out, or the fact that if she pisses me off I just get to chop them off. Possibly the fact that I have been alone with the kids for the last few days alone and I may be crossing the line into bat shit territory. I think it is that I just really don't care. She is at home all day, no one to impress so she wants to wack out her hair, big deal right?

 Ok, and the pics,
Now THIS, cracks my shit up.
Don't get all concerned it was
an unscented, maxi-pad, left over
from the last time I had a kid
4 years ago...
The process, I am shaking
my head in shame


  1. Hey, when it comes to Motherhood you gotta do what you gotta do. My son once threatened me that he'd get a mohawk. I said "go ahead". Took all the fun out of it and he didn't want it anymore! PS: Where's your daughter's "after" pic?

  2. She went to bed with it wet and woke up with a purple pillow, so needless to say it is wet again. I will add one when it is dry :)

  3. Shes right! My oldest is 6 it is tough to deal with him. I can't imagine a grade 8. You are an awesome Mom!

  4. Teenagers are the devil and sometimes ya just gotta cut your losses.

  5. Don't worry, purple isn't that bad. I've tried doing that before (and even used the permanent stuff). Blue dyes don't work at all so it'll be red in a week or two. Her fellow students may even think she colored it with a sharpie.

  6. A little bit of purple isn't going to do anyone any harm. Walking around with a toe like that may cause some damage, though. Hilarious photo.

  7. The question is, do you have enough things to bribe her with to get her through the rest of her high school career!

    1. Ha! Fortunately so far she is a pretty lame teenager, don't get me wrong I'm happy about that, but she's lame. She goes a little bat shit here and there but she's not spreading her legs and doing drugs. I'm thankful for that!!!

  8. I want pink streaks and I am 38....a little early mid-life crisis?? Im very young at heart....(is that what "they" all say?)

  9. Definitely a great trade off... and as long as she thinks she looks great with the purple tips, that's all that matters!

  10. Anyone willing to tie a maxi pad to their toe AND study for a test absolutely deserves purple tips! She is going to remember that you helped her have awesome hair way after science class ends and that toe heels. Way to go!

  11. ahahahha!! I can't get over the maxipad idea!! At least, she's definitely not going to want to go off somewhere with that on her foot! Definitely want the after pic...I think it should look cool on her!

  12. Lol!!!!! Love the maxi pad toe! We should start our own website with photos and tutorials of the many different bandage alternatives!

  13. OMG girl, love the maxi-pad toe. I am all about making deals with the devil. Love the title. You're certainly gifted in the title area. Sometimes it's all about life lessons. If she really wanted the purple tips, she was willing to do what it took. That's good right? Life's give and take. All the girls want to do that. My daughter has a sis and 7 cousins that get together in the summer on a trip. One year they all dyed a strip of hair underneath so you really couldn't see it unless they had a ponytail. My hubby, who is more conservative than Rush Limbaugh, said Ok. It wasn't even a bribe. It was peer, or cousin, pressure. If that's the worst they do, you've got it good. Mine are 16 and 14.

  14. I am remembering this bargaining tool for when my girls want to dye their hair. I'm just going to make them wear maxi pads on their feet. Regardless if any injury. Just for tr weird factor! Hilarious!