Monday, October 29, 2012

Guest post: Are you a passive-aggressive ass?

My amazing friend Happy Little Feet is doing a guest post for me today. I am very excited. I love her blog. It is a mix of tips, recipes and funny stories. She was my first blog friend, we bonded over bad haircuts and penile cartilage questions. It has been a blast to know her ever since!

Are you a passive-aggressive ass?
Photo from: Rise to the top
As a mother or parent in general you
are often subject to many unsolicited
comments and gems of advice.
When I was first pregnant I
imagined that these comments would
eventually end once the baby was
born. You can imagine my surprise
when it just got worse after he was
born. Seven years later I still get it.
However, I have gotten used to it. I
am not saying that I enjoy the, "do
you know how you get pregnant?"
comments I get pretty much every
time I enter a grocery store but they
are definitely old hat.
What still irks me and makes me want
to punch you in the face is the
passive aggressive crap people say to
try and make you feel insecure. I am
giving them the benefit of the doubt
because I really try to remind myself
that everyone is trying their best but
people, and you know if it is
you, STOP. Nobody likes these
comments and what I am sure what you thought was a subtle slight is blazingly
obvious and offensive If you have something rude to say just say it or keep your
mouth shut.

1) It must be nice... This is used all too frequently. I will paint you a picture most
of us have experienced;
"I work out every morning."
"Must be nice, to have the time, energy etc."
What I imagine saying, "Well yes, actually it is especially nice since I get up at 5:30
to do it. Must be nice to watch back to back episodes of the biggest loser and every
other reality show they have released in the last decade."
Photo From: The Rise to the TopWhat I actually do: just smile.
This gem I get a lot. Since I am a stay at home mom and a lot of people often have the
misconception that I sit at home all day painting my nails with my feet up
watching Oprah eating bon-bons. This, as any mother knows could not be further
from the truth. First of all no one is missing out on this passive aggressive crap. When
you say this the person hears your disdain LOUD and Clear.

2) "Just you wait..." This is offered by people who are ahead of you in some way.
Be it, their child is a whopping 3 months older or they have teenagers or even are
grandparents. It always amazes me that people even say this. Do they not realize that
whatever any given individual is going through is important to them not to
mention, legitimately different from your experience? They do not need a rude
interpretation of how their life is easier than yours. They also do not need a reminder
that is is going to get so much harder. So shut it.

3) "It must be so much easier for you because ..."
This one is ridiculous. I have had people tell me that it must be easier for me because
my kids are so much further apart than theirs ... her son was 6 weeks closer than mine.
It is just so ridiculous. I suppose that it must be easier for me because I do not feel the
need to approach people and tell them how much easier it is for them. Seriously, I am
not sure how this is ever considered to be polite chit chat. My sister had a woman tell
her it must be easier for her because she has so many kids. Her friend only had one
she was apparently under the impression that the more children you have the easier it
gets. Maybe it does maybe it does not but if you think it so, keep it to yourself.

4) "That's nothing ..."
This is typically done by the one upper’s.
My son was almost crushed by a cement bird bath ..."Oh that's nothing! Once my child fell off a swing set and got such a big ..."I am not saying do not exchange stories, by all means. People love the give and take in conversation. Just the line "It’s nothing" is so incredibly dismissive and

5) You have no idea what it’s like to...
This is just plain rude. No matter how you slice it, no matter how you twist it, unless it
is followed by: "what it feels like to be hit by a bus and then eaten by rats in a sewer
because you were dragged down there by a albino 'gater...." it is basically saying you
do not give a fig about what this person just said. So, as a gentle reminder to any of you who may be saying these rude, passive-aggressive comments; think before you speak or just keep your mouth shut. One day someone will call you out on it and I will just laugh.

Every Day Is An Adventure


  1. I'm afraid to comment, LOL! Great post, Happy Little Feet, you said what so many of us want to. Maybe next time I will, I can just say that you put me up to it!

  2. WOW! This is SO true!! Love this post :)

  3. Hehehehe! We all now know to fear the smile-- that is if we are stupid enough to utter these obscenities to begin with. I love the grumpy side of you, BTW.

  4. I am the person who tells a person with one kid it is easier with more. Just to be an ass, they figure it out really quick when the second one comes. And I laugh and laugh... But I'm kind of evil like that! I loved your post, did it feel good to let loose? You are welcome to come back and let loose any time my friend. Thanks for posting.

    1. I just might!! Thank you so much for letting me let off some steam. You rock. I wish I was a little more bold like you!

  5. very clever post and sadly, very true. argh. some people are morons.

  6. 1) IT MUST BE NICE... to be able to let off some steam!
    2) JUST YOU WAIT... till I do the same!
    3) IT MUST BE SO MUCH EASIER FOR YOU BECAUSE... you write all this in your native language!
    4) THAT'S NOTHING... compared to what I could write!
    5) YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE... switching 'language channels' in your brain trying to answer to you!

    Hahaha!!! Just messing with you! No, I don't mean to make you hate me, God forbid!
    I absolutely loved your post!!! So, so true! My dear mother-in-law does all of the above 15 years now! Yikes!

  7. "do you know how you get pregnant?" LOL!!!

  8. Love it! Depending on which store I shop at and which group of people I run into I can get all of those comments in a week! Arg! But I must admit, since having a baby I think I have two cents to spend too. However I k ow how annoying it is, so I try my best to keep my damn mouth shut! Great post!!

  9. So much truth in that post! And I'm embarrassed to say, I may be guilty of at least one of those!

  10. Hi-larious! Writing with an edge suits you ;)