The kid, not naming names, woke up with the shits. He sleep pisses in every place you can imagine so I am happy he made it to the toilet.
For the moment I was excited that he got into the bathroom to piss, until I heard it. So I ran upstairs to grab a roll and by the time I made it down stairs he was leaving the bathroom. I asked him if he wiped. Because I sure as hell wasn't cleaning the remnants of what I just heard out of his shorts tomorrow, or ever. He said yes. I asked with what? He pointed. Holy mother fng jesus this kids ass hole is going to have bleach blisters. I tried to get him into the shower but he was still asleep. My kid wiped with dual action Lysol wipes. It is essentially sandpaper dipped in bleach.
I have so many questions, such as did you think it was toilet paper? Why do you suspect the toilet paper was wet, do you normally use wet tp? When you you felt bleachy sandpaper upon your ass, why did you continue? Did it burn? Do you think kitchen cleaner will keep you from having skids?
All these questions will never be answered because the kid sleep shit...