Saturday, September 29, 2012

Why I paint my nails in the car...

I know this is random but I'm going to tell you why I paint my nails in the car. And maybe why you should too...

1) It covers the smell of rotten McDonald's in the backseat along with that extra package of chicken I bought and forgot about a couple summers ago. The smell will not leave.

2) There is rarely a chance I will ever be called to wipe a child's ass.

3) I won't have to clean up anything, the car is already fucked, if you spill something in there I'm guessing the carpet genie will suck it straight thought to the pavement beneath...

4) I only have to control the wheel and the radio. I don't do the passing toy shit and if you ask I will turn up the radio and act like I want to hear the commercials...

5) I don't have to break up fights with my hands, slamming of the breaks and stopping in the middle of the road is warning enough...

Now I don't do this while driving... I buckle the shits in and do it in the driveway. And I can barely keep the car in between those tiny ass lanes as it is so could you imagine me driving with my knees and painting? So there ya go folks, now go sit in your driveway and paint your nails, thank me in the comments area for your perfect manicure. Oh and put a little lotion on your fingers so the polish doesn't stick to your cuticles...

5 comments:

  1. I love it! Sometimes, if I know I am going somewhere by myself, I will paint my nails right before I get in the car so they will dry while I drive. And of course not get messed up by the kids.

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  2. awww poor thing! sounds awful!!! i don't know how that feels like yet...kinda do want to join you in feeling the same way but kind of don't...i'm so scared and nervous lol i'm glad you weren't driving while you were....at least you caught my attention you crazy mamma! =p luv yah babe!

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  3. Ha my sister does that!! I am have awful fingernails and unless one of my sisters paints them for me it never happens. I love the rotten smell in the car.LOL what is it about children destroying cars?

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  4. OMG! that was too funny....I was totally picturing you driving while doing this! lol

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  5. I just don't paint them... I'm too freakin lazy...
    which makes the upteen bottles of nail polish in my bathroom cabinet seem quite ridiculous... :P

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