Thursday, September 20, 2012

What a woman will do for caffeine...

This morning the hubs car wouldn't start he so nicely took mine. Yesterday I finally got it liscensed, yes, my friends I had been rolling dirty for a while. I could finally drive, I was excited! Now not so much...

My coffee pot has been broken for a while so I have been running to the gas station before the hubs leaves for work to get a Diet Coke. This mom runs on caffeine and adrenaline during the day and maybe a little beer, or wine if I am feeling fancy, in the evening. But daytime caffeine is a MUST!

I go out to start the car, yep still doesn't work. I have a few options..
1. Walk to the gas station. 2) Call my friends and beg for a soda or 3) Google it and fix the car.

Walking was out, I don't get out of my pajamas or at least change into presentable ones until I have my caffeine. If I walk in my horrid pajamas someone may call the Funny Farm to pick me up, I am probably on the wait list because the crazy shit my kids do anyway.

Option 2 was out, my friends had already left for work and I couldn't ask them to turn around and sit back in traffic, that would just go too far. I'm not gonna lie, I thought about it.

Onto option 3. Since I don't change out of my pajamas until my caffeine and the car was not in the garage, there was only one thing to do. I pushed that bitch into the garage. At the time I didn't think about the fact that the car could roll backwards and kill me.  That wasn't in the plans for today, so it just couldn't happen.

I pushed the car into the garage and pulled out every tool that looked car-ish and I took out my phone and Googled the symptoms. Google was taking too long to load or search. Obviously "car making a gnnnnnnrrrr sound" has no matches.  I was in the garage, in my homely pajamas with the street crew right outside and I screamed "GOOGLE DON'T FAIL ME NOW!!!!". One of the workers must have seen me push the car into the garage and thought I did  in fact run myself over with my non-functioning car. That was nice of him, I almost asked him to get me a soda. But again, too much to ask. He informed me I should put in "ignition won't turn over". That worked.

I unhooked the battery and fiddled with some shit. I don't pray very often but God understands my need for the caffeine, so I prayed. Now I am locked into reading the bible to my kids tonight. It worked! I am so glad! And thankful, and now because I am in the asking mood I have another thing to ask for, but that will be in a different post...

I get to the gas station and there is a new guy working the drive thru. He is a cutie but he is the dumbest motherfucker I've seen in a while. Obviously, he should be kept around on looks alone. Mama needs some eye candy. So I got my soda and asked for some blow pops for the kids since they were so good other than taunting me while pushing the car into the garage. The man forgot the straw, gave me Diet Pepsi and tootsie pops. I took a drink and gagged. I have decided I am going to go pick this man up a restaurant order pad, in a thousand pack because he has shit for brains and maybe a little list would help...

16 comments:

  1. Oh, no, you mean we're NOT supposed to ask street crew to get us a soda...oops, my bad, LOL. Love this post, I can always count on you for a laugh. Don't worry, I'm laughing with you not at you (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

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  2. Pushing AND fixing the car??? You are super bad ass!!!!!!

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  3. "or wine if I am feeling fancy" LOVE!!

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  4. I can't believe you pushed and repaired the car! Awesome!

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  5. It was just the battery corrosion a little sand paper and all was good! I was desperate... If I had to I would've cut a hole in the floor and Fred Flinstone'd that bitch to get there...

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  6. oh goodness did you buy yourself a NEW coffee pot yet?!? lol if not i'll send you mine hahaha i know the feeling xoxo

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  7. Honestly, the last time my coffee pot broke, I replaced it that same day. Priorities. That said, I am deeply impressed that you managed to push a car into your garage. Damn!

    P.S. What is Ketchup with us? Another blog hop?

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  8. You googled how to fix a car? You googled how to fix a car and IT WORKED? Holy crap, you're my new hero!

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  9. I have nominated you with the sunshine blogger award, because you rock.

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    1. Thank you!i have a few to attend to sitting half done in my drafts, this weekend will be the time to get it done :)

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  10. wow!! You pushed a car into the garage and fixed it???!! Totally impressed

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  11. Glad to read it was nothing too serious with your car! Props to you for fixing it. From a fellow blogger who has been known to chew on coffee beans when the coffee pot was broken, store a six pack (of soda) for future emergencies!

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  12. Haha! chew on coffee beans!
    Don't be too impressed it was an Acura I'm fairly certain 3 kids in a wagon is less weight!
    I am a coffee whore and I love my coffee pot but it is not cheap, I love it and have to save up for a new one :)

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  13. I have awarded you the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers! Hurrah. No worries if you do not want to pass it on, I am just letting you know you rock!

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  14. You need to get a damn coffee pot and caseloads of soda from Sam's or Costco. Stockpile and you'll never have to worry again....

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  15. I am seriously impressed, Ashley. If you can singlehandedly push your car into your garage and fix it by googling it, then you can pretty much do anything.

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