Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Things you can learn in a DMV....

I had to visit the DMV today here is what I learned.

1. I am probably the only person in America who can actually get pulled over in the parking lot of the DMV
    for expired plates. No ticket thankfully...

2. Purses made entirely of bird feathers and yarn are in fact in style...

3. A girlfriend in line along with you becomes very upset when her boyfriend is staring at you. She uttered
   words such as "she is really not that pretty" and "did you see her from behind?"  All of which I just smiled
    and looked at her 16 month faux pregnant belly, she didn't take it well...

4. If you ever have any questions in life...Obesity is always the answer...

5. I have found the person who broke into The Museum of Horror and stole the 1970's discontinued sueded
    fringe jacket. I expect a reward in the mail...

6. Neon colored headbands and shoe laces along with the Punky Brewester shoe trend are back in. There
   was a lady who was a real treat in a button up blouse, swishy pants, one flowery fake converse and an
   athletic sandal with a gangrened toe, she is now my fashion idol...

And last but not least:

7. Asking the close standing patrons who are looking at your phone while you are using it if you can snap a
    picture of the nosiest fucks in America can in fact get your thrown out of a DMV...apparently there is a
    sign about combative behavior I missed. I got off with a warning...


  1. I need to remember all this next I go there....and probably get thrown out for laughing like a maniac for no reason!!

  2. hahaha awesome! our conversation made it into a post! hahaha that's hilarious! xoxo

  3. Love This!! LOL I'm cracking up!! :)

  4. And you managed to not get chucked out! Well done!

  5. one flowery fake converse and an athletic sandal with a gangrened toe... OH MAH GAAAAAH.

  6. Bahahaha! You got lucky twice? You're my hero. Next time I want pictures.

    1. Apparently you can't take pictures, I was informed of that or in walmart of the crazy people...Who knew employees of those places lacked a sense of humor

  7. DMV isn't far from a walmart visit!!

  8. Sounds like an adventure! I can't believe you got kicked out. I got pulled over in the dead of winter last year, because my plates had expired 2 days before. He wanted me to get my 4 kids out of the car and walk 6 blocks to the DMV. So not impressed.

  9. I didn't get kicked out, I had a warning because they were literally standing over my shoulder reading my twitter conversation... I asked the lady if I could check her phone and share her text messages aloud... She said ok, this is your only warning and told the people to back off

  10. Free entertainment, and you lived through it!

  11. I dread the DMV. I will take your list for reference next time..kind of like an "I spy with my little eye.." Thanksfor the laugh!

  12. AHAHAHHAHHA!!! Oh my WORD! I think i peed a little! You are my hero <3