I will probably loose a few friends over this, but at this point I could give a shit less. I just had one of the worst 4 hours in my existence. This is 4 hours of my life that I will never recover from. A kid party.
To start off this party was for my kid's friends little brother. It is a long story of the parent and my friendship. Since I don't air my dirty laundry onto the internets, I will not share. But it is a doozy.
The party was at the recently deceased great grandmother's house. It was disgusting. I mean like a Goodwill that has been shut down for the last 10 years and still has shit everywhere. It was just bazaar, and circa 1940-ish- being nice. It smelled like death covered in dust.
It was a family party. the family was like a bag of derelicts. I shit you not the cousins would make the "Ermegehrd" girl feel sorry for them. The kids were brats, and I was scared to even go into the house to retreat from the cross-eyed overbite cousins.
I had to pee. I went into the bathroom and the toilet was a lovely shade of lilac. Yes, the toilet was lilac stained with old folk urine. I couldn't take it. There is no way my ass was going near that. I had two options. 1: Piss my pants and act like I spilled a drink on myself. I had perfume in my purse to cover the smell of urinated pants, so that my friends seemed like a viable option. Or 2: Drop trow in the front yard of a house on a busy street. I figured even if I had to wait to get to a jail cell at least the facilities are probably cleaner.
I went with option 3. I put my shirt over my face and went in. As I was hovering I looked down. In the trashcan was an adult diaper. Tears filled my eye wells and I leaned over into the sink and puked. I could not fucking believe there was an adult diaper in the trashcan. I just couldn't believe this shit, who the hell allows this? Some derelict motherfucker, that is who.
It wasn't bad enough to deal with the dead grandma house, the derelict children running amuck but an adult diaper. I am scarred. I can't take it. I wanted to take back my present and leave but my car was blocked. I was trying to plan an escape route to drive through the yards and get to a road.
I knew nobody. I am a very social person, I can make friends with most people. You have to be pretty god damned bad for me to snub you. I didn't talk to one of them. I don't know if they bussed these folks in from the worst trailer park in the continental U.S. but, I could not bring myself to stand next to them let alone socialize.
This was too much. I couldn't take it anymore. I am not going to lie. I am THE biggest asshole in America. I stole beer from a dead woman's fridge.