Friday, September 7, 2012

How to fix shit vol 1 blinds.

Don't you hate when some asshole just walks by and cuts your blinds. I do. My kids like scissors, they steal them bitches like it is nobody's business. This is my tutorial of how to fix shit mini blind style...



Step 1 find a lighter if you have to get a piece of paper and light it up on the stove no one will judge. Hold the pieces of the blinds together and light that shit up. I held ,the kid lit. That shit kid caught my hand on fire!!! By all means try to avoid the burning of one's hand...


Step 2 wait a minute and roll the burned pieces together, wait until it is cool enough that the nylon string doesn't burn itself to your finger...learned that the hard way. Btw I did use some sort of office suppy to hold the string to the blind because that kid kept catching my hand on fire. ON FIRE!



Step 3. Get your handy ass white craft paint and cover the evidence...



I know this may be a random post. I have 3 boys, they like to do stupid shit, like cut expensive ass mini blinds. And yes I do see my shitty ass yard in the background. People let their dogs shit on my porch so as punishment I am warding off all landscaping, weeding or mowing...


This was from my personal facebook to my neighbors...

Now fix your god damn blinds people!!

And for god sakes don't let your dog shit on my porch...


21 comments:

  1. Currently my mini blinds are not broken but today as I was gazing out the window I noticed they were dirty.....and I angled them up with the twisty stick thing so I don't have to look at the crud.

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    1. Ha! Love it!!! Well when one of those kids, yours or otherwise gets ahold of them you Kniw how to proceed :)

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    2. Oh my cat is usually the culprit but so far since we moved no broken blinds. Maybe the crud keeps her away....

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  2. I hate blinds! Mine are dirty and cleaning them is hell!

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    1. This absolute hoos but seriously I hand the kids a leaf blower..

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  3. LAWD, my pyromaniac kids would probably catch the whole house on fire if I attempted that project. Best to do that one all by my lonesome.

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    1. my kid did find it funny that she burned my hand... a little too funny

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  4. Great tutorial. I am to lazy to have these blinds mine are solid. Although my kids like to pull them out of the wall. It hurts when they hit you in the head!

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  5. Fark man... I just sat here and lauged my assss off. <-- And I spelled that out for emphasis. Then I looked at my own blinds. I raised mine to where they were broken, held it all together with a hair tie/ rubber band thing... and it's been like that for 4 freaking years. 4 years. I like your fix... I'm just too damned lazy to do it....

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  6. I love scissors and I hate blinds LOL hahaha mine is still broken ...maybe I'll fix it later! PS>...I pinned it =p
    xoxo : http://pinterest.com/pin/198088083581130075/

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  7. That's pure talent right there! My kids would lean or hang by them. They were always bent or snapped off at the ends. The only positive was the fact that I could see who was at my front door. Trashier version of a peephole, and I took full advantage. Good times. Thanks once again, for making me laugh.

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  8. You are sooo bad!! Lol! I finally trashed all my blinds for this reason. Between 4 kids and three dogs, it was a losing battle. And yeah, your neighbors are assholes!

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    1. They really are, a bunch of them are my facebook friends, that is why I posted that...

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  9. I feel that me and you. We'd be good friends. I as well hate assholes and could learn quite a lot of useful info like how to fix random shit my hellman child has destroyed.

    Do you per chance enjoy wine? If so we'd get along famously.

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    1. I have made a few bottles my bitch... I use them as trophies on my mantle, I will explain later, and you never waste wine EVER, I heard its a law

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  10. I love you girls! I read shit tons of blogs and seriously, I get the best comments!!

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  11. Great to know for future damage! BTW, I love that you sent that message to your neighbors! I am more the silently angry person, but wish I had the guts to voice it!

    I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Liebster Blog Award, but it’s a great way for bloggers to recognize and encourage each other. It’s a compliment, blogger style. I recently received the award and, because I follow and enjoy your writing, am bestowing it on you. Read my post here http://www.thatsuburbanmomma.com/2012/09/liebster-award.html?spref=tw then write you own and link back to me. I hope you’ll enjoy paying it forward as much as I have. Happy blogging.

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  12. TEARS! You make me freaking cry! So funny. The tears began to form with "how to fix shit" and were flowwing by "Please for the love of God don't have your dog shit on my porch!" Funny!!!

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    1. Thanks! There is a blog hop today that is up your alley...at youknowithappensatyourhousetoo.com there are a lack of blogholes and some of my faves are already linked

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