I know everyone has an asshole, but ladies and gents let's not be one. From here on out I will use the term Bloghole for asshole bloggers. If you at any time feel as though I am talking about you, more than likely you are correct. If you don't like this shut up and move along.
Here is how to tell if you are in fact a Bloghole.
1. You join a blog hop and follow everyone and then turn around the next day and unfollow. In the words of my bloggy friend. THIS IS NOT A ONE NIGHT STAND...I know this is solely to gain followers but the truth is you are a Bloghole through and through. I know you want to look more awesome than you are and you probably have 6,000 Facebook friends on your personal site, most of which you don't know and may very well be jacking off to the pic you posted of your kid in the bathtub. Both of you mother fuckers are sick. Did you not like being compared to a pedophile? Then stop being a Bloghole.
2.You go to my blog and leave a comment asking for a follow back, completely neglecting to follow in the first place.. Yep you are a Bloghole and a douche. Seriously, If you don't like my shit that is fine but don't expect me to oogle over your rainbows and unicorns life. There are only so many lies I can tell in one day, I reserve them for my children. I do not have enough stocked up to tell you how great your blog is. And for all that is holy don't VLOG your bullshit, at least with a post we can exit out quickly. Vidoes have a way to never let you leave no matter how many times you hit that X at the top of the screen.
3. You co-host every god damn blog hop there is and you are like I have just gotten so big there is no way I can keep up following you all back, but thanks for the love...You my friend have won the Bloghole of the year. Especially when in the blog hop it says to leave a comment so we can follow you back. I mean for real, we know you are a hot commodity with your perfect life and ugly kids, but by all means Thank You for showing us how much of a Bloghole you really are. Your shitty posts make us vomit in our mouth a little bit .We secretly wish one of those ugly kids would spit a wad of gum in your hair the size of your home state so you have to prance around with a fugly hair cut for years to come.
4.You are on every social media outlet whoring your name around... This is the internet not a street corner, move along. You are the herpes of the internet. We would rather get a trojan virus than see your name again. Really. Just start a blog hop called "Follow Me Bitches", hopefully the holy rollers catch that one, I will wait around with a six pack to see their "community" light your ass on fire.
5. You leave a comment along the lines of that is interesting. You didn't even read my blog, if you did you would realize my shit is gold and you would've turned your little Hanes granny panties yellow from the lack of bladder control while laughing. Really you just wanted the page hit of me reading your blog when I just couldn't understand what kind of person would say that or it is another form of whoring out your own blog. No one will check out your blog is all you say is interesting. You are not Sherlock Fng Holmes. Leave a real comment.
6.My ultimate favorite... I found you on the blog hop please visit my site I can't wait to read your next post...This is hilarious to me. After the first time you followed, and unfollowed me I removed your comment off my blog. It is a god damn shame. What do you know, next week, next blog hop YOU WRITE THE SAME DAMN THING... This is like blog raping, my god when will it end? You are sooo dumb. Hide your Facebook, hide your twitter, hide your URL, they are raping all up in here. We gonna find you. (If you have never seen that video by that Anthony something or other being interviewed on the news, you must!!!) Anyway, I have been a good person up until now, I have deleted your comments and bullshit. From here on out I will not. I will allow your dumbassery to be viewed all over the internet. I may screen shot that bitch and pay a big blogger to retweet the fuck out of it. Although I don't feel the need to pay for bloggy stuff somethings just can't be left unnoticed..
Thank you for reading let's try our best to be nice :) I played nice for this post. A didn't point out names...
The group of fellow hate of Blogholes who encouraged me to write the most assanine thing I have ever written.
Stroller Parking Only The B(itch)log Happy Little Feet Life on Peanut Layne
Diapers...or Wine? You Know It Happens At Your HouseToo among others