Friday, August 17, 2012

Uses for Everyday Things, as told by a kid...

If my kid was the Martha Stewart for kids this would be a segmant of his show.

Ok kids. I know you see these things everyday, and the 'rents have uses for this crap. Mine are better.

*Pre-build race tracks lack imagination. You can easily make your own with permanent marker and  toothpaste. Right on the floor. Clever I know. When I did this I got to see Mom "Google" over that one!

*Laundry baskets are for losers. You shouldn't have to walk all the way over to a basket. You can stuff it in  the couch cushion, toy box or in the fridge. I personally prefer to leave my socks in the fridge, the yogurt  container is the best. You get to see Mom loose it and empty the fridge checking everything. Seriously, I just  pull up a chair and crack open a rootbeer and watch the fun show.

*Napkins are so 5 years ago. Why be wasteful when there are soo many other places to wipe your hands? Like the walls, your only good shirt or the couch. The added bonus Mom goes bat shit with the cleaners. Quite entertaining.

* Toothbrushes just for teeth, eh, who does that anymore? You can totally use your Mom's tooth brush to clean your junk. This is my favorite. When Mom walks in shocked just say "what, I do this all the time?". You get a free trip to Walmart over it and you don't to use the lame ones the dentist hands out. Epic.

*Tissues are old school. Totally unnecessary when your brother's head is at perfect height or you could make a snot collage on the tv. Again, a shirt is always handy- as long as its someone else's.

*Did you know you can use a rug in place of a sink? Dude you can pour out your drink, spit on it, even pee on that sucker. It is like magic, just disappears. Whoever made this is just genius.

* On the last note, toilets are barbaric. You should never have to stop playing just to go inside. You can use almost anything. Tool boxes, cups, trees. Almost anything. OOh I feel it coming. Look at this I almost hit that girls shoe. Total fail.

Honestly, my kids so some of the stupidest shit you can imagine, this was only a few. Thinking he has a secret talk show is what gets me through my day!

3 comments:

  1. Found you through blog hop, love your attitude!!

    www.mymomsawhackjob.blogspot.com

    School sucks for parents that is!

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  2. OH wow. Sounds like we have had the same week!
    Happy little feet

    ReplyDelete