Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Self inflicted hair cut

I was doing dishes and 4 came down and said "look mom I cut my hair and I put it in my shoe, don't worry it's in my old shoes". I am beyond thrilled, the child starts kindergarten in two weeks. He has the front top cut to the scalp, and scissor marks thought. The back side is sporting a reverse Mohawk. It looks like a hacked up pile of shit. I literally have to turn away every time he comes my way, I am laughing that hard. It looks horrid, funny horrid. I am so glad he is not a girl, I sure as hell wouldn't be laughing then.

The child thinks he looks good. I just nodded my head. Here is our convo:

4: it's the new style now.

Me: I'm fairly certain self inflicted hair cuts complete with total baldness and scissor marks, were in sometime last year, son.

4: No, my friends will think I look goooood", while nodding his head trying to be cool. " Maybe they will all cut their hair like me".

Me:I'm sure their parents will not appreciate the new trend.

4: Yeah,I'm the coolest person and I'm a ninja and I don't have front teeth, I'm gonna own that place

Me: I'm sure you will son. *sarcasm*

4: if those bitches make me mad I'm just going to walk home

Me: that's not exactly safe-shaking my head not knowing to believe him, laugh, or discipline.

4: did you forget I'm a ninja- I probably have superpowers I just haven't tested them yet

This child keeps me on my toes. He makes up more bullshit than a failing politician. The stories of his daily life would fill several novels an the child is 5. I'm almost tempted to just let him keep the new do. Maybe I can buy a toupee for pictures? Maybe he will be "sick" on picture day and he can go for retakes. Nah I will just let him keep it an hopefully I still laugh my ass off when I put that at the slideshow at his wedding, or 5th grade graduation.


  1. Oh I feel your pain my daughter has cut her hair off twice. It grows at a snails pace so pretty much as soon as it grows back She cuts it again!

    1. Oh no how bad did she cut it? I do not know what posses children to wack of their hair. Thanks for reading and your shark post was AMAZING!!!

  2. She looked like a mad scientist. It was down to the scalp and bald all the way to the middle of her skull. The sad part is she will probably blame me when she is a teenager for her horrible photo.