I was doing dishes and 4 came down and said "look mom I cut my hair and I put it in my shoe, don't worry it's in my old shoes". I am beyond thrilled, the child starts kindergarten in two weeks. He has the front top cut to the scalp, and scissor marks thought. The back side is sporting a reverse Mohawk. It looks like a hacked up pile of shit. I literally have to turn away every time he comes my way, I am laughing that hard. It looks horrid, funny horrid. I am so glad he is not a girl, I sure as hell wouldn't be laughing then.
The child thinks he looks good. I just nodded my head. Here is our convo:
4: it's the new style now.
Me: I'm fairly certain self inflicted hair cuts complete with total baldness and scissor marks, were in sometime last year, son.
4: No, my friends will think I look goooood", while nodding his head trying to be cool. " Maybe they will all cut their hair like me".
Me:I'm sure their parents will not appreciate the new trend.
4: Yeah,I'm the coolest person and I'm a ninja and I don't have front teeth, I'm gonna own that place
Me: I'm sure you will son. *sarcasm*
4: if those bitches make me mad I'm just going to walk home
Me: that's not exactly safe-shaking my head not knowing to believe him, laugh, or discipline.
4: did you forget I'm a ninja- I probably have superpowers I just haven't tested them yet
This child keeps me on my toes. He makes up more bullshit than a failing politician. The stories of his daily life would fill several novels an the child is 5. I'm almost tempted to just let him keep the new do. Maybe I can buy a toupee for pictures? Maybe he will be "sick" on picture day and he can go for retakes. Nah I will just let him keep it an hopefully I still laugh my ass off when I put that at the slideshow at his wedding, or 5th grade graduation.