So 5 and I were tackling my monstrosity, known by some as the laundry pile. I don't mind the washing but the folding and putting away, not enough alcohol in the world can make that shit fun.
Any way 5 was handing me laundry and I was folding it putting it in baskets. He is handing me clothes and saying who they belonged to. This was all fine until he misspoke.
5: "Mom stop leaving your vaginas out."
Me: "What?" I did a quick check.. The girl was packed away just fine.
5: "Yeah stop leaving your vaginas out, duh" with a saucy little 3 year old attitude and speech impediment.
Me: "Excuse me?" Wtf, where the hell is this kid seeing vaginas? I wonder if he knows what a vagina is. He is 3 clearly he is not just throwing it out there for shits and giggles. But he is my kid so I can't say for certain.
5: "Mom stop leaving your damn vaginas out". Really madly, because I keep looking at him like he's an idiot. It's not right, I know, but how would you feel if your kid is accusing you of having an extra set of lady parts and that you show them off around town. Yep, you would look at him like he is an idiot too.
Me: "Good Lord child, what the hell are you talking about. Do you know what a vagina is? (with a worried look) Or what it looks like? I just don't understand what you mean". I am a little freaked out at this point. We are not going to have a conversation about a vag at 3, and I sure as hell know he hasn't gotten a good look at my lady so where the hell is this coming from and why would you bring this up with laundry in your hand, I don't want to have to re-wash that shit.
5: With a giant huff " Stop leaving your vaginas out". I look at him and he is holding up my PAJAMAS shaking them in the air like I am the dumbass. Whew.
Me: "Oh, you mean pajamas"
5: "yes ba- gim-as"
Looks like I will be giving a lesson tonight. Not so much about the actual part but how to avoid confusion with a word that will get him expelled from kindergarten