Thursday, August 23, 2012

Oops... Misspoken 3 year Old Style

So 5 and I were tackling my monstrosity, known by some as the laundry pile. I don't mind the washing but the folding and putting away, not enough alcohol in the world can make that shit fun.

Any way 5 was handing me laundry and I was folding it putting it in baskets. He is handing me clothes and saying who they belonged to. This was all fine until he misspoke.

5: "Mom stop leaving your vaginas out."

Me: "What?" I did a quick check.. The girl was packed away just fine.

5: "Yeah stop leaving your vaginas out, duh"  with a saucy little 3 year old attitude and speech impediment.

Me: "Excuse me?"   Wtf, where the hell is this kid seeing vaginas? I wonder if he knows what a vagina is. He is 3 clearly he is not just throwing it out there for shits and giggles. But he is my kid so I can't say for certain.

5: "Mom stop leaving your damn vaginas out". Really madly, because I keep looking at him like he's an idiot. It's not right, I know, but how would you feel if your kid is accusing you of having an extra set of lady parts and that you show them off around town. Yep, you would look at him like he is an idiot too.

Me: "Good Lord child, what the hell are you talking about. Do you know what a vagina is? (with a worried look) Or what it looks like? I just don't understand what you mean". I am a little freaked out at this point. We are not going to have a conversation about a vag at 3, and I sure as hell know he hasn't gotten a good look at my lady so where the hell is this coming from and why would you bring this up with laundry in your hand, I don't want to have to re-wash that shit.

5: With a giant huff " Stop leaving your vaginas out". I look at him and he is holding up my PAJAMAS shaking them in the air like I am the dumbass. Whew.

Me: "Oh, you mean pajamas"

5: "yes  ba- gim-as"

Looks like I will be giving a lesson tonight. Not so much about the actual part but how to avoid confusion with a word that will get him expelled from kindergarten

25 comments:

  1. hilariously inappropriate... and adorable, of course. I enjoyed this.

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  2. I LOVE wildly inappropriate kid stories! Thanks for the follow over on my blog. I'm returning the favor on this end because I like your sass.

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  3. Haha... yeah... gotta work hard to not them expelled... because then they would be home with you... all day long. Damn.

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  4. Oh I love it! That is too funny!

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  5. Stopping by from the Blog Hop. Thanks for the laugh :) My kids went through a phase where they couldn't pronounce certain letters/sounds and it caused quite a few looks when we were out. Seriously, truck never sounded like truck!

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  6. LOL! I am laughing so hard I'm trying not to pee my pants. That is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. And yeah, what WERE you thinking leaving all those extra vaginas around town?!

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  7. Absolutely hysterical! Thank you so much for the much needed laugh.

    New Follower from GFC hop (via GFC and Twitter!). Love if you could hop over and join in my Weekend Blog Walk blog hop at: http://www.athometake2.com!

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  8. Stopping by from the YKIHAYH blog hop. I needed a good laugh today. Thank you for sharing!!!

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  9. HAHA! Love it.
    One of my kids was using the word "douche" a few weeks ago, meaning something else. Then I had to exlain what a douche was. Fun times.

    Came here via YKIHIYHT :-)

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  10. GOOD GAWD GIRL, you are freakin' hilarious!!!! LOVE your humor!!!! Trying to follow you, but I'm not on linky.

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  11. Freaking hilarious!! Found you on blog hop. visit me @ http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/

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  12. Love it!!!! I love their language. My 2 year old has an issue with r's, as in he can't say them. You can imagine the looks we get when he talks about his "crocs" and his "forks".

    Great post! So glad you linked up!!

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  13. Ooh my goodness! Too funny.

    I'm a new follower from the Mom's Monday Mingle Hop. Hope you can stop by mamasmusingsblog.blogspot.com!

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  14. Haha! That's great, you made me giggle! I'm your newest follower. Your blog is awesome & I love the name.I found ya on mingle Monday

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  15. Found you on the Monday Mingle... I seriously needed that laugh.
    Check me out: http://www.100lbcountdown.com

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  16. Good thing this one didn't happen in public! Stopped by from Mommy Mingle and glad I found you. Joined you as a follower (GFC) so I'll be back! http://BakingInATornado.blogspot.com

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  17. THAT is HYSTERICAL!!! Totally something that would happen with my daughter or my youngest son who takes the TR sound and makes it into an F. Which is horrible when you see a BIG TRUCK.

    New follower from Mommy Mingle's blog hop!

    Please come check out morethanmommies.net - Especially our Sunday Sip feature! We would love to feature you and your blog if you are interested!

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    1. You can if you want, are you sure your followers could handle me ? LOL

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  18. I found your blog via Neely @ A Complete Waste of Makeup and I cannot stop laughing at your posts! So excited to be your newest follower!

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  19. Thanks, not hard to be funny when the kids do all the work :)

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  20. bwahahhahahahah!!! OMG!! I don't know when I laughed this hard!! I just love your 3 year old now!!!

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  21. Bwhahahaha! I found your blog through the TGIF blog hop and instantly fell in love! Once my little guy was asleep I read about four post to my husband and we just laughed and laughed. I am glad to be a new follow. Hope you stop by my little piece of the internet sometime!

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  22. Out of the mouths of babes.....this is really quite adorable. So what is his name for your bra and under ware when he sees it in the laundry basket?

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