Monday, August 13, 2012

My name is mom and I'm a dream crusher...

I have worn many hats today. I have been a sweeper, a chef, a laundry doer a dish cleaner and a table wiper. I have successfully been an administrative password hacker for my kids computer. I have been a counselor and a child war mediator. I do it all.

My preteen, I call her 2, she has been in quite a sassy little mood. She told me I was a dream crusher. Hmmm. Bug crusher, car crusher, toy crusher, yeah I would have to agree with them. But a dream crusher?!?

That's harsh. I asked which one. She said all of them. Ok can we elaborate? After a 30 minute rant I came to the conclusion I am a dream crusher.

When your dreams are to be an only child and you have 4 siblings, I look like king kong with my boulder sized foot just takin care of business. I crushed her dream of having a cute little sister, somehow dreams one and two didn't converse. But yeah she only has little brothers. I am a dream crusher.

She came up with a dream to play softball yesterday. I called her out on that one- I was quickly informed she's had that dream all along but never told me. Obviously my ESP is down- shit better get that fixed. Since the season hasn't started and with that shotty ESP and all, again a dream crusher right here. Damn 0 for 3. I let her go on about all her dreams I have crushed but when she starts calling me insane and she is going to ruin all my dreams now, the child crossed the line.

I, being my witty little self, went upstairs and I grabbed a shirt and a permanent marker. Ooooh yes I did. I wrote dream crusher on the front of a just fine ugly-ish shirt. I wore it downstairs proudly. She said heh it fits. Now am I going to let this slide? OH HELL NO!!! Tomorrow is the first day of school, uh uh wait for it. Is she going to wear it for her daughters first day of school? Oh she wouldn't!?!!

You bet your ass I will. I have included a picture of the said shirt I will be wearing everyday. She has until it rots off or she apologizes.


  1. My daughter called me the same thing last week! Can I borrow your shirt when you're done with it?! LOL! Love this!!!

  2. It's all yours... She apologized so I guess I don't get to wear the shirt... Kids take the fun out of everything :)