Sunday, July 22, 2012

Revenge in the making

The hubs cleaned out the garage this weekend. He put all the shit in the kitchen. Even with 5 kids I can't stand a mess. I clean all damn day. He should know better, he makes fun of me because all of my iPhone apps are catergorized and my cabinets are labeled. I am a neat freak at heart- my house doesn't show it because I live with 3 slobs and 2 hoarders. I really want to get back at him.

I thought about taking the seats out of his car and after trying every bit in the garage, none of them fit the bolts to unscrew the seats. So that was out.

I thought about building a ramp to the roof and parking his car up there, we didn't have enough wood- and Lowe's wasn't open at midnight. And that might entail me actually having to put something together and it so wasn't worth it.

I thought about dragging him outside to sleep, but the last time I did it he actually believed he fell asleep out there- again too much work. And I've seen an opossum here at night, administering rabies shots is a little too harsh.

I'm still trying to come up with something clever, he expects nothing less... Before we were dating and we were just friends and worked together, I stole his keys and moved his precious car and laughed hysterically when he went into total panic mode, and tried to call 911. His attempts at revenge were juvenile- an empty keg on my car? I just drove until it fell off...

He still swears to this day that's why he married me. I think it was because I was blonde and skinny... 20 pounds and a handful of kids later jokes on you Mothafucka

I still need something, ridiculous but not jail-able... Hmmmm

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