Took the kiddos to the zoo today, it was an experience as always...
We stopped at the bathrooms in a tractor trailer, pretty much a porta potty with tile inside as #4 walked out he informed the crowd waiting their turn that it smelled like someone took a huge crap in there. Surprisingly only a few people walked away.
After that we headed to the ape section where we witnessed one scratch his rear, smell the hand and then lick it which the kids replicated throughout the zoo. As #4 was acting this out #5 yelled "your cracking my balls" of course right in front of an Amish looking church group, even the TBS version of The Hangover is not kid friendly- even though the hubs will argue this to his death.
While in the penguin house #4 announced to the building that it smells like dirty unferwear in here, I just pretended he was with the group of brown hair brown eyed kids next to us, at that point I didn't care if it was believable.
While visiting the lions #5 was digging through my purse to find the fork he put in there, " so if the lions escape he can protect eberyone". While leaving the reptile house #5 saw an opportunity to joy ride on a handicap scooter, I'm so glad the old man kept the key in his pocket. While walking down the hill from the reptile house #3 was getting antsy and felt it a great idea to roll down the hill and take some folks out snowball style.
At Jack in the Box, between the zoo and our first of two ball games, one of them decided to yell out in the dining area "Gosh, fat people order a lot of food". I couldn't blame him two people walked out with 4 bags- I thought the same thing.
At the game #5 was sitting in the dugout and learned a new skill...heckling...great thing except the adults said it within the ears of the team, #5- not so much he yelled "run fat boy" to the opposing team, at that moment I was so grateful that this league allowed beer because if that guy was sober he wouldn't have taken it so well.
At the last game of the night I did get to see #5 hit two triples, three doubles, and throw someone out at first (from third) with a pinpoint laser throw.
I did learn how to make a #4 brand slushie... "a slushie contains salt water that turns into nicranium 6 and you just add soda or some other drink and you shake, that is how you make a slushie, I know it I'm half genius and half martial arts master...#4 will rule the world one day, nicranium 6 is absolutely believable coming from a 5 year old's mouth, I can't imagine the bs he will make people believe at 30.